Title: Tired of Saving the World Before Bedtime: A Day in the Life of Dr. Daniel Jackson
Topic: Stargate Sg-1
Genre: Humor/Short Story
Doctor Daniel Jackson yawned as he pushed his glasses back up on his nose, blue eyes quickly scanning the book in front of him. His wavy, chin-length, brown hair was disheveled and he held an almost-cold cup of coffee in his hand, suggesting he'd been up studying the text in front of him for quite some time. This was something he did often, waking up early in the morning to quickly look up information on some concept that had just popped into his head, usually having to do with some almost-insignificant piece of history of one of the many cultures he'd studied over the years. Daniel Jackson was an outcast of the scientific community, but he was a brilliant anthropologist. No one was expected to think highly of an anthropologist who claimed the Great Pyramids of Giza were built by aliens, but Daniel's colleagues at the Cheyenne Mountain Complex all knew he was brilliant, because they'd seen the aliens of course. Daniel didn't need anyone else to believe him, he now worked for the Stargate program in the Cheyenne Mountain Complex and all information regarding the alien pyramid builders had been deemed classified. So for now Daniel was content to let the outside world think him crazy, and go about his work here at Stargate Command (SGC). His job as the Civilian Advisor of the program's lead team, SG-1, was certainly preferable to his old position of disgrace.
Looking at the digital clock on his desk he realized he was currently very late to that job. Daniel grabbed a massive handful of textbooks and notebooks and other reference material of his desk, frantically trying to stuff them into his backpack on the way out his office door. Racing down the brightly lit hallways of the SGC, he nearly missed running into a surprised officer, who consequently spilled coffee on his uniform. Daniel mumbled a quick apology over his shoulder as he rushed into the gate room.
"Daniel, glad you could join us." Colonel Jack O'Neill said sarcastically as Daniel stumbled to a halt in the gate room, still trying to close his backpack.
"Uh, sorry, I lost track of time. I was reading over some notes from out trip to P3X-808 and came across the most fascinating parallel that may suggest..." Daniel trailed of when he noticed the "I really have no interest in any of the geeky stuff you're saying." look on Jack's face. "Well, it's not really important, I'll tell you about it some other time." Daniel noted the look of relief on Jack's face at that statement. Daniel also knew that Jack probably had no desire to hear about it any other time either.
"Alright campers, let's get moving." Jack said cheerfully, summoning his team to follow him.
"Colonel O'Neill, I was not under the impression that we were...camping. Has there been a change in the mission plan?" That was Teal'c of course, the Jaffa, an alien species that had a symbiotic relationship with the larvae of a species known as the Goa'uld, which meant Teal'c basically had a worm in his stomach, which Jack had at some point in time named "Junior." Junior was a larval Goa'uld so he wasn't doing much right now but sitting in Teal'c's stomach being...well...worm-like, but Teal'c on the other hand was still standing in the gate room with a stoic expression on his face and one eyebrow raised, wondering why he had not been informed that their mission had been turned into the Earth custom of camping.
"It was just an expression Teal'c." Major Samantha Carter quickly said, jumping to Jack's rescue. Teal'c did not appear entirely satisfied with this answer and was still waiting for a further explanation of the meaning behind this expression, but Jack was already stepping through the stargate. Sam went in after Jack, followed by Teal'c. Daniel yawned, still only half-awake, and stepped up to the blue-gray ring that was the stargate, taking a deep breath before stepping into the water-like gateway in the center. He always hated this part.
Stepping through the stargate was like stepping into a giant wall of water, sucked into a cold tube, and being thrown across all the great expanse of the universe in a matter of seconds. Time seemed to stretch out into eternity and then simply stop and loose all meaning as Daniel dematerialized and was sent through the wormhole. The term "wormhole" was fitting, because he did indeed feel like he was falling through the tunnel of some massive extraterrestrial worm that had burrowed its way through the core of the endless dark apple that was space. Daniel watched as he flew at an incredible speed past systems of stars and planets he had never been to, and probably would never see in his life time. Daniel thought with a slight pang how much he'd love to visit those worlds some day, meet their people, learn their history, but today his destination was an entirely different part of the universe. Then, suddenly, less than a second after it had all began, it was over. Daniel stepped out of the stargate on the other side of the wormhole and sneezed. Jack rolled his eyes, Teal'c raised an eyebrow, and Sam suppressed a laugh and handed Daniel a tissue.
"Uh, thanks. Always happens when I travel." And it did always happen when he traveled, and every single time it happened he stated that little fact, day after day. It had become a routine by now and he didn't even bother trying to figure out what new, or incredibly familiar microscopic things in the air were causing his allergies to act up this time. Now that they'd arrived, Sam began setting up equipment to take soil samples and Daniel scouted the area for signs of civilization, desperately trying to keep his sleep-deprived eyes open while Jack and Teal'c keep their eyes open for any possible danger.
"Trees, trees, and more trees." Jack muttered, "This is certainly fascinating, don't you think so Teal'c?" Teal'c raised a quizzical eyebrow at Jack that was pretty much all Teal'c ever did in the way of expression. "Oh! Look! More trees!" Jack exclaimed with faked excitement. This time it was Daniel who rolled his eyes, but Jack was right. The planet was very green and coated with vegetation, mostly trees, endless forests of trees were all that could be seen in the distance. Jack began to wander off towards the endless forests while humming Follow the Yellow Brick Road. Ten seconds later, Jack came running back yelling "Bullets, bullets, and more bullets!" Sure enough he was followed by a volley of weapons fire. "I think we've overstayed our welcome here, Daniel, dial home!"
"But we just got here!" Daniel protested.
"I don't care if we got here two seconds ago or two years ago, they would like us to leave!" The "they" was referring to the large mob of enemy Jaffa that were charging towards them and firing rapid volleys of energy from their weapons.
"You will surrender immediately and be taken to see Lord Anubis, great God of our people!" It was the leader of the mob speaking, his weapon pointed in Daniel's direction. However, none of SG-1 had any intention of surrendering.
"Anubis is a false god who has enslaved your people!" Teal'c yelled back, firing his own weapon in return.
"Uh, Teal'c?" Daniel said, motioning for Teal'c to follow. "I really don't think they feel like discussing that right now.
"I wish these people to be free but for now I will listen to your wisdom Daniel Jackson." Teal'c said in an emotionless voice.
"Uh, sure Teal'c, whatever you say." Daniel dialed up the gate and charged in. He hated this part even more.
If being thrown halfway across the galaxy in less than a second was a strange experience, being thrown that distance at that speed and then tumbling out the other side still in mid run was an even stranger experience. Daniel leapt out of the opposite gate and didn't sneeze...he just fell down instead.
"You still feel like staying back there?" Jack asked as he helped Daniel up.
"I think my glasses broke." Was Daniel's only response as he brushed himself off and examined the cracked lens. Teal'c raised an eyebrow.
After everyone had changed and had minor injuries taken care of, and Daniel and gotten himself a spare pair of glasses, a debriefing was held to assess the results of their mission.
"What do you think Doctor Jackson?" It was General Hammond talking, and the question was directed at Daniel who blinked, realizing he'd not been paying attention for the past ten minutes. He had no idea what Hammond had just asked him about.
"Uh, sorry, what?"
"Major Carter was just explaining how your arrival on the planet you visited today was monitored by a new device installed in the stargate there." Hammond explained.
"It's okay Daniel, I didn't get a word of it either. It was the techno babble, you want to run that buy us in English Carter?" Jack said, grinning at Sam Carter, who in turn gave a frustrated sigh as she prepared to go over everything yet again.
"I think you've all had a long day and need some rest." Hammond said, looking pointedly at Daniel. "We'll discuss this further in the mission briefing tomorrow. I suggest you all get a good night's sleep since you get to go back there and find out how this new technology works."
"Oh good, we get to go see all the trees again!" Jack exclaimed as they all got up to leave. Jack walked halfway with Daniel to his quarters and then stopped him.
"Daniel, I order you to actually get some sleep tonight. You need the rest and I don't want to hear about any of your 'fascinating discoveries' that I won't understand one word of tomorrow."
"Since we're off duty you technically can't order me to do that Jack." Daniel replied, trying to hide a yawn.
"No I suppose I can't." Jack shrugged and began to walk away.
"Do you ever get tired of just barely making it home in one piece every day after being attacked by hordes of soldiers who are slaughtering millions in the name of a malicious alien they think is their god?"
"It's a living."
"Yes, I suppose it is."
"Goodnight Jack." Jack left to get some pie while Daniel went to his quarters with the intention of getting more work done on the notes he'd been studying that morning. He was asleep within minutes.